Psy 202 Self Reflective
Inside The Life of a Persevering Adult: A Self Reflection Amber Ward Psy 202 Professor Stephen Law October 25, 2012 I. What was your family like? A. Single parent strict home B. Middle of three children C. Parent’s divorce and father’s absence II. What things do you remember about your childhood? A. Financial Hardships B. Good times along with tough times C. Becoming independent at a young age D. Things chosen to forget about E. Sports III. Greatest achievements A. Career B. Abuse survivor C. Return to school IV. What are your personal, professional, and academic goals? A. Demonstrating the importance of a college education to my peers B.
Owning my own preschool C. Earning my bachelors degree Throughout life, we all have pitfalls that we believe hold us back from dreams, but I believe that we have the opportunity to persevere and move forward in the future. On a daily basis, we make decisions using the conscious mind and try to apply the adult development theories when making those decisions but, we may not always apply them correctly. Although my story may be one of a series of pitfalls and setbacks, I will prove to others that perseverance has pulled me through those pitfalls and setbacks and has gotten me to where I am today.
I do not see my pitfalls as mistakes, but rather as life lessons that have contributed to bettering my life and shaping who I am today. Life does not create a person; a person creates their own life. While we all have different journeys that lead us to where we are today, my life has been one that I look upon as a true persevering story. Throughout my childhood, I learned the importance of hard work and dedication to family. My father was from a military family and was strict the couple years he was around.
While some might consider his discipline style and strictness out of the ordinary, I appreciate what he did and how he taught me the value of respect. At times, growing up as the middle child in a broken family was not an easy life. I believe that I had to do what my sisters were doing. I constantly thought that my mother only took my sisters wants and needs into consideration, and that led me to seclude myself. I allowed my father’s disappearance to take me away from reality and grew up resenting my immediate family. I regularly kept to myself in my room and was the different one in the family.
This self-perception from others led me down a deep path of depression; I chose to hear only what I wanted to hear when my family tried to communicate with me and that created problems for me. Despite my father’s disappearance, my father made several attempts at talking with me and trying to understand why I was in such a dark place. Instead of talking to anyone I chose to ignore what they viewed as kindness and chose to ignore them. The majority of my childhood often seems to be put in the back of my mind. I remember key events but little to nothing else.
I do not remember the name of a single friend from any grade all the way through college as I did not have many; I had select programming in my brain that allowed me to keep only those treasured times in my memory to fight the depression. I do remember growing up with financial hardships. Looking back, I now realize that there were many other children that had it much harder than my family did. I believe that these financial hardships came about during my parents’ divorce, when I was two years old. I am lucky to say, I have never gone without a meal though and could count on having clean lothes for school. My mother always tried to push me to do those activities that my sisters participated in. However, even though I played soccer and softball I still felt let out as these activities were not of my liking. My sisters excelled in both sports causing me to gain a sense of jealousy. I then became even more withdrawn from society and would go to bed crying every night. At the age of eighteen, I decided I did not want to be alone, so I started online dating. I then was constantly staying with others and chose my relationships with these men over my family.
Despite my family’s pleas and wishes to get out of those bad relationships, I had to learn on my own. At the time, I blamed my family for everything I believed to have caused a horrible relationship and broken family. Before long I got taken advantage of and abused in every way possible by the guys I was dating. I worked every day but would spend all my time and money on my relationships and get nothing in return. Within an unusually short time frame, I reminded myself of a lesson my parents attempted to teach me: It is better being alone than in a bad relationship.
At the wise age of twenty two, I got hurt so miserably I thought about giving up on life. Initially, I ignored the situation and did not realize the seriousness of it until I woke up one cold and out of it with bruises and not remembering what had happened the night before. I quickly realized that I needed to seek support and get out of that relationship before I die. After speaking with my father after two years, I decided that I should move out of town with him. My father would provide me with somewhere to live and a fresh start on life.
Within three weeks, I moved to Ventura, California where I now reside and started with a clean slate. The move brought about a new perspective on life and gave me time to evaluate myself. I gained a new respect for myself and appreciation for those that tried to reach out. All of the past relationships were now past experiences. However, not having a relationship and being so torn caused me to need counseling for severe post traumatic stress disorder. I still believe calling my dad saved my life. Upon entering my second month of counseling, I enrolled in classes at American Intercontinental University.
I viewed college as an opportunity to prepare for my future and to prove to myself that I am worthy of finishing something I had always wanted. I found myself surrounded by many supporters that drove me to succeed and encouraged me every step of the way. During the last weeks of my first semester of college, my life changed forever. I spent the night in a psychiatric hospital for wanting to end my life in the past. I had everything taken from me and had to force the nurses to inform my father where I was since I lived with him. I cried that entire night and did not sleep all but maybe ten minutes in the twenty four hour period.
All my classes received failing grades as it was finals week and, policy was a student must attend finals and my world came crashing down. Upon my exit, I became a full time nanny and began my career. However, I still wanted to stay true to myself and wanted to complete my associate’s degree and then obtain a bachelors degree. John Holland’s personality theory states “People feel that their job is fulfilling if there is a match between some features of their work and their personality” (Witt & Mossler, 2010, pg. 30). This statement could not pertain more to me when describing my career in the childcare field.
My time with the children has been one of the most challenging and rewarding experiences of my life. I have been fortunate to be blessed with loving families that I work for that have now become my own. By taking advantage of these opportunities presented, I am well on my way to opening my own preschool-based daycare center. Though I have faced many setbacks, I have chosen to use each one as a learning experience in bettering my future. During the abuse, I remembered that there is someone out there that does love me and is worth my time.
I am truly fortunate to have lived through an instance that was so tragic and could have taken my life. While my career in childcare has been one of my most valued experiences, one of my most rewarding experiences would be getting the opportunity to live. My family always told me there is a reason why I am on this earth; they could not have been more correct. Being able to survive a tragic attack made me value what I have; With a now loving boyfriend of one and half years and a supportive family at my side cheering me on I now know why I must continue to persevere and not let anything stand in the way of my hopes and dreams.
My drive in life is now not one of satisfying only others that did not care about me, but now one of self respect and dignity. I want to do everything to prove that I can use perseverance to get through anything or anyone that tries to knock me down. As I continue to move through life I accept every day as a new beginning; I believe that too many people settle for less than what they deserve because they think their goals are out of reach once someone or something tries to block their path.
Very few people achieve anything significant without first overcoming obstacles as seen in Zeleznocks article saying “If at first one does not succeed, try again” (Zeleznock, 2008, pg. 1). What life has taught me is that if one lets setbacks control their life they will never move forward. In order to have a positive self image one must push to succeed and maintain self worth. Using setbacks and allowing others to make your decisions will only result in regret and lead one down a life of self doubt. Each day I view as a new beginning and an opportunity to learn and grow with others.
As I accept new challenges, I look upon my past as a foundation for building knowledge and wisdom. If I am able to use perseverance to maintain my focus and achieve my goals, I will live a life of happiness. Despite my own inability to recognize it at the time, I have an incredible family that supported me throughout my childhood. I have learned many positive lessons about responsibility and becoming a role model in today’s society. I have a career that I enjoy and excel in. Most importantly, I have a family that supports me and loves me for the individual I have become.
While some would look at my life and see only the setbacks, I look into the mirror and see a persevering woman with some hurt that lead me to persevere. While there are these setbacks, I now realize my place in society. I have self respect and love life and look forward to what each day may bring.
References Witt, G. A. , & Mossler, R. A. (2010). Adult Development and Life Assessment. Retrieved from http://content. ashford. edu/books/30 Zeleznock, T. (2008), & Entrepreneurs Whose Perseverance Will Inspire You. Retrieved from http://www. growthink. com/content/7-entrepreneurs-whose-perseverance-will-inspire-you